I absolutly loved the movie the Blindside. If you haven’t seen it, then you need to see it.
My sure fire way of knowing it was a truly good movie was when I realized that my friends, mom, and dad all agreed that it was amazing.
In thinking about taking this new position, going to meetings, getting settled, spending time with teens etc. It has made me think that everyone has a blindside.
Don’t we all have a spot or area of our lives that we are most vulnerable? I mean I don’t know much about football. However, I do know that the quarter backs biggest fear in the game is being tackled. Right? Well, much like in football, we all have a blindside. We may not be running around with someone ready to barbarically jump on us, but we all have a fear. The fear that if someone taps on that fear we will come tumbling down like the London Bridge. Usually, our blindside has to do with something at our very core.
Something in which we are truly gifted.
Something that we would be devastated to loose.
A deal breaker.
What makes us who we are.
My blindside has always been a fear of being silenced.
Yep, you read that right, being silenced.
I talk a lot.
Think about it. It makes since. I came out screaming and pretty much didn’t stop until I was 9 months old (or so I’ve been told). I got my name put on the board in kindergarden for talking during nap-time. Then I talked my teacher into erasing my name off the board. I love to talk. Along with my loving to talk, God has blessed me with not being afraid to talk in public about Him. I have been able to share the gospel in bolder ways than I ever would have imagined. My sharing the gospel and helping raise up a new generation did not just happen over night. Lots of fears have been faced.
Let me explain.
I grew up Church of Christ. I love that I grew up Church of Christ. They helped me have a passion for the word. I have had great mentors, family, and friends in the Church of Christ that have led me to the place where I am. One thing I have learned is that the Gospel is for everyone to live out and share. Not just men. The Church of Christ is not always accepting of women in ministry. Being called at a fairly young age into ministry, this has always caused kind of a problem for me…
Maybe you are catching up…fear of being silenced. Ok. Do you get it? As you can guess, I have jumped through some hoops. I have had people question my doctrine to not allow me to speak because of being a girl to having boyfriends ask me to become a teacher instead of a minister to having to have a professor stand on stage while I spoke to everything in between. I even decided in my sophomore & junior years of college that Satan was taking a physical attack on my voice. I was still getting speaking engagements and such, but it would be like two days before I was to speak, and I would wake up with absolutely no voice. One time I had to resort to just emailing my parents to let them know what was wrong. Another time, I had to ask one of my friends to speak on my behalf using my notes. Still another time, I had to ask a staff member at a camp to come teach a girls class for me for the whole week. Each time, I would get my voice back with in hours of whatever event I was supposed to speak at was over.
Finally, it donged on me.
My fears were being manifested not just personally and socially through my denomination of choice, but also my fears were being manifest physically. Satan was getting exactly what he wanted. He wanted my mouth shut one way or another. He hit me where it hurt. My natural area of talking. My calling. What mattered most.
It hit me like a ton of bricks. I had a “come to Jesus” moment. I reminded Satan and any other demonic spirits that were coming against me that every knee bows and tongue confesses Christ is Lord and is in submission to Christ Jesus as well as that Satan can not touch God’s anointed.
All in all, that fear has not gone away completely.
I still have had times where I have been asked to speak but with someone.
I still have had some Church of Christ dudes try to change my calling.
I still prayed fervently over my vocal chords as I went to speak in Huntsville back in January when I was interviewing.
I still have a blindside.
I still get to speak the gospel of truth.
I still dump guys that don’t recognize the beautiful parts of me…the parts God inspired.
I still have the opposite of fear which is faith.
After all, I have a left tackle that has the power to move mountains, part seas, rip curtains in two, and deliver the world from sin!
He’s got my back.