“On Wednesday’s, we wear pink.”
“That’s why her hair is so big, it’s full of secrets.”
“I’m not a regular mom; I’m a cool mom.”
“She doesn’t even go here.”
“I have this theory that if you cut off all her hair, she looks like a British man.”
“Get in loser. We’re going shopping.”
“Raise your hand if you have ever been personally victimized by Regina George.”
Those are just a few darling quotes from one of my all time favorite movies, Mean Girls. It is an incredibly witty, truthful, and in your face view of the meanness that goes on among women…especially teen girls. I have lived it. I even played at it for a while in high school. Unfortunately, it doesn’t really leave. It follows you after high school to college to the work place to the home. Meanness is a learned behavior we pass down… from mother to daughter to sister…This one group of people is never, and I do mean never, excluded from the list of groups of people you encounter in life…mean people.
I have been doing the Beth Moore study on Esther since Discovery Weekend ended. I have literally eaten this study up. I even did one whole weeks worth of homework in one sitting one day. I was so intrigued. I love it! I recommend any of you to do it!
There was one particular lesson where I felt like my younger readers, readers that have or will soon have teen daughters, or just plain women in general might need to hear or get a refresher on…It’s called: it’s tough being a woman in a mean world. So the bullet points are not “Caroline originals,” but the thoughts surrounding them definitely are.
The “mean” person in the story of Esther is Haman if you look up the story…and it is clear on why if you read about him specifically in chapters 3-6.
Meanness doesn’t come out of thin air. You are not born with it. A mean spirit has a history. There is a reason for it. It was either passed down to you or passed around to you. Mean people also often times have had a significant event happen to make them defensive and mean. Beth made the point that there is nothing meaner than a coward. Mean people like to attack the weak, those just a little bit weaker than themselves. Mean people also are driven by insecurity. Insecurity is at the heart of every single rivalry. They PERCEIVE a threat…real or percieved, the threat is there. Therefore, they resolve to meanness as a defense. That comes out through exclusivity, saying cruel things…etc.
3 Traits of a Mean Spirited Person:
1- You can hang out with them as long as you know it is about them.
Whew. That one will preach, will it not?? The minute whatever you are doing is not about them, suddenly they throw a fit, change the topic back to them, have a melt down, a crisis happens, and they figure out a way to get it back to them. If you don’t go along with this rule you will either a) not be asked to hang out with them anymore or b) you will have to oblige
Which connects into point 2…
2- They dig at other people but never admit to it.
A person who doesn’t have a mean spirit will always apologize if they think they have hurt someone’s feelings. A mean person will not. Also, if you do not follow point #1 then they will most likely let everyone know how insensitive you were to them by not keeping it about them…It takes real strength to admit a wrong. Mean spirited (cowardly as we discussed above) people will not have the strength to admit they were wrong. That would prove that whatever threat they feared, was in fact true.
3- They dress provocatively around other women’s men. (or the guy version) They lead on or flirt with other men’s women.
This one, you may find curious…but I get it. This one has to do with power. The girl wants to know that she has the power over that guy to make him turn his head to look at her. She doesn’t really want him. She just wants the power over him. I saw a sign in a boutique in Orange Beach a couple weeks ago, and I wish, I wish, I had snapped a picture of it. It read,“if it jiggles, cover it up.” I couldn’t of put it any better myself. What a good rule to follow ladies. I mean really, it is nice to be found attractive. However, the type of guy that truly is going to be concerned about your well being and heart is not the one that will let his heart or eyes wander so easily.
Guys, covering up isn’t really y’alls problem. Your mean spirit in that department is that you want to have the power to woo. You help your ego if you know that you can still persuade a girl to like you. The problem is, you aren’t really caring about her heart or mind if you do that just because you can. The type of girl you want is the one you are really going to have to work for…not the one throwing herself at you or that will be swayed so easily.
I know that may seem like a random rant to you. However, in a girls world, meanness is very real. I know it is in guys worlds too. I think girls are just a little more passive aggressive at it.
I mean really, didn’t you know we wear pink on Wednesday? Wow, maybe you will remember next week.